Saturday, December 29, 2012

Looking For Single Ladies

Let me begin by saying, I am not looking for single ladies. God has graciously given me my princess and she is "every woman in the world to me" (a little Air Supply reference if you're old enough to remember that). It is this blog post that is looking for single ladies and here is the reason why: Almost on a weekly basis I see statuses on Facebook from single ladies bemoaning the fact the the recent boyfriend has yet again turned out to be a dud. Most of these posts are made by young adult women but there are similar posts from ladies both younger and older. Obviously I know these ladies or I wouldn't be seeing their posts. (I'm not one of these people who accepts every friend request I get.) So, if you are reading this and you fit the description above (some of you single ladies will not so don't think I'm lumping you all into one big pot), please give me a moment to speak into your life. Allow me to speak to you as a pastor, a friend, and a father of two daughters myself. Afterwards, you can do whatever you want with the information I offer to you.

First off, let me shock you into reality by being extremely blunt; do you honestly think you are going to find Prince Charming by hanging out in clubs and/or bars? (I'll let that sink in for a moment.) While not impossible that there may be a diamond in the rough to be discovered, there is a huge amount of "rough" to sift through in those places. Are you seriously searching for a committed man among a group of guys just looking for a party? How many times must you be "surprised" before the light comes on? Again, it's not to say that it is completely impossible, but your track record of failed relationships should be some sort of indication as to how difficult this task is. (I said I was going to be blunt. Now keep reading.)

Perhaps you didn't have a father in your life to teach you by word and example what you should look for in a man or where a good man can be found. An absent father is a very difficult thing to deal with as a girl grows up. On the other hand, maybe you had a father who was committed to and loved your mother, but you decided you were going to do things your way and thus far things have not worked out so swimmingly. No matter what your background, perhaps as we enter a new year it is time for you to change tactics.

Ladies, as you are searching for your Prince Charming you need to consider things from your would-be prince's viewpoint. Do you think this loving, strong, committed, one-lady man who will cherish you and be a strong father figure for your future children wakes up in the morning and says to himself, "I think I will go looking for the bride of my dreams at the local clubs tonight"? Do you not understand that he is looking for his princess? Most likely he is not looking for the drunk girl who is flashing her stuff all around and will jump in bed with him within a week of a relationship. He is looking for a strong, confident, beauty who is sweet, joyful, and full of life. He is looking for someone responsible to perhaps engage in a committed relationship that is more than merely physical.

This may be difficult for some of you to hear and may even make you angry, but the facts are the facts. If you keep hanging out in the sewer you will attract nothing but rats. You can get angry at all the jerks you have dated but it is you who keep pulling guys from the bag marked "jerks". If you really want better material you have to shop at a different store. (Now you have to be with me ladies because I just made a shopping reference.)

How about in this new year that is coming, starting with New Year's Eve, you begin to consider yourself a princess worthy of a prince? Instead shaking your stuff for the dogs, guard your beauty and sex appeal like the precious treasure that it is. Don't treat yourself like all you are worthy of is frat boys looking for a good time and an easy score. Become responsible. Act like an adult. Find better friends. Have higher standards. Consider where the princes are looking for princesses. It's not about money, it's about your lifestyle.

Finally ladies, you must understand that above all you will not find fulfillment in a man, no more than a man will find total fulfillment in a woman. You really have to find you completeness in your Creator. He is the One who made you and He is the One who has a plan for your life if you will follow Him. When you walk with God who knew you before you were born, you will find strength, purpose, and true life. You will gain a standard that exposes losers before you get involved with them. You will carry yourself with strength and dignity (something most guys in the party scene find unattractive). Then God can give you a man who is worthy of His daughter and together that team will do wonders! No, it will never be a perfect life because we are all flawed, but it will be a happy and fulfilling life.

So, my dear ladies, if you are tired of being hurt and sick of your jaded heart, stop blaming the riffraff you keep attaching yourself too and look elsewhere. Find yourself in God who created you and allow Him to build you a better lifestyle (not necessarily a rich and famous lifestyle) and give Him the place in your life to be match-maker when the time is right. God certainly did right by me and while I am by no means perfect, I hope my wife feels the same way about me.

Here's to a better year for all my single lady friends both young and old.

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